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"Save an evening a week for just you and your
wife."--Life's Little Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"When you and your wife have a disagreement,
regardless of who's wrong, apologize. Say, "I'm sorry I upset you. Would you forgive
me?" These are healing, magical words."--Life's Little Instruction Book; H
Jackson Brown
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"Never give a loved one a gift that suggests they
need improvement."--Life's Little Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"Every day look for some small way to improve your
marriage."--Life's Little Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"Never walk out on a quarrel with your
wife."--Life's Little Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you
love them."--Life's Little Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"When tempted to criticize your parents, spouse, or
children, bite your tongue."--Life's Little Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"Remember that a successful marriage depends on two
things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person."--Life's Little
Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"Every day show your family how much you love them
with your words, with your touch, and with your thoughtfulness."--Life's Little
Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"Take good care of those you love."--Life's
Little Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one
decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness or misery."--Life's Little
Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown
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"MARRIAGE is a great institution. I'm just not
ready for an institution."
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"I recently read that LOVE is entirely a matter of
chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." -David Bissonette
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"I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've
thought again." -Noel Coward, 1956
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"When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her." -Sacha Guitry
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"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe." Jackie Mason
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"MARRIAGE is like a cage; one sees the birds
outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out." -Montaigne
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"After MARRIAGE, husband and wife become two sides
of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together." -Hemant
Joshi
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"MARRIAGE is a three-ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring, and suffering. "
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"MARRIAGE is not a word; it is a sentence. "
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"MARRIAGE is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. "
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"Second MARRIAGE is the triumph of hope over
experience. "
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"MARRIAGE is when a man and woman become as one;
the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. "
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"Before MARRIAGE, a man yearns for the woman he
loves. After MARRIAGE, the 'Y' becomes silent. "
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"If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep."
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"Getting married is very much like going to a
continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the
other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that."
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied,
"Yes I am , I married the wrong man."
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"Man is incomplete until he is married. then he is
really finished. "
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much
does it cost to get married?" and the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm
still paying for it."
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"Marriage is an institution in which a man loses
his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. "
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Young son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some
parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That
happens in most countries, son."
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"Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.'"
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A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the
husband gives and the wife takes.
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"When a newly married man looks happy we know why.
When a TO-BE married man looks happy we ALL know why. But when a ten-year married man
looks happy - We wonder WHY."
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"Married life is very frustrating. In the first
year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman
speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
"
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"After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You
know, I was a fool when I married you." and the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but
I was in love and didn't notice it.'"
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"It doesn't matter how often a married man changes
his job, he still ends up with the same boss. "
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"A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife
wanted.' Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can
have mine.'"
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"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. " [by the way,
I open the door all the time!]
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"A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with
the dishes. " [not my perfect wife, but funny]
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"A woman was telling her friend, 'It is I who made
my husband a millionaire.' 'And what was he before you married him,' asked the friend.
Woman replied, 'A multi-millionaire.' "
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"Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the
sink."--Life's Little Instruction Book; H Jackson Brown