CHRISTIAN ONE-LINERS
  1. Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited-until you try to sit in their pews.
  2. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
  3. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
  4. If Jesus instructed to . . ."Continue to love your enemies" (Matthew 5:44), why would you have ever hated your enemy?  Do political leaders who advocate hatred and war against enemies REALLY follow the way of Jesus?
  5. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
  6. When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
  7. People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
  8. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
  9. If God does not number his children under the premise of security, socialism and Caesar's taxes, why would you number yours?
  10. Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
  11. The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."
  12. If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
  13. God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
  14. To make a long story short, don't tell it.
  15. If your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing, you should consider running for a job in Washington, DC.
  16. If you declare and sign on the forms of Caesar "under penalty of perjury", are you not swearing an oath?  Does not the bible command simply "My yes is my yes and my no is my no"?
  17. Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
  18. Peace starts with a smile.
  19. I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
  20. A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
  21. We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
  22. Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.
  23. Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
  24. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
  25. Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
  26. Follow not religious and political leaders who proclaim killing others is needed to stop killing.  Follow the word of the Lord: "If anyone makes the statement: 'I lov God', and yet is hating his brother, he is a liar' (John 4:20)
  27. Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
  28. Forbidden fruits create many jams.
  29. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
  30. God grades on the cross, not the curve.
  31. God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
  32. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
  33. He who angers you, controls you!
  34. If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
  35. Prayer: Don't give God instructions - just report for duty!
  36. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
  37. The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
  38. We don't change the message, the message changes us.
  39. You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
  40. The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
  41. Father, bless this person in whatever it is that You know he or she may be needing this day!"
  42. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
  43. If you render to Caesar according to Caesar's tax tables, do you really live in a free society?
  44. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
  45. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
  46. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period.
  47. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
  48. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
  49. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
  50. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
  51. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
  52. If the Bible REVEALS to us in a REVELATION that. . ."ALL nations are misled. . ." (Revelation 17:18, 18:12, 13, 23] what makes you think following the political leader of ANY nation is a way of salvation and truth?
  53. The church is prayer-conditioned.
  54. When God ordains, He sustains.
  55. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
  56. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
  57. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
  58. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
  59. Are the laws created by government the laws of God...or laws of man's world?  To which is your obligation to obey?
  60. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
  61. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
  62. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
  63. If a church operates under permission or special tax privilege granted by government [26 USC 601(c)3], can it serve two masters?  Is it a church of God's world. . .or man's world?
  64. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
  65. He who angers you controls you.
  66. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
  67. Does the bible teach to kill another. . . or simply to die for another? [John 3:16].
  68. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
  69. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.
  70. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
  71. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.
  72. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.