Monument Fund

Having the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise five million dollars for a monument of Bill Clinton. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.

We then decided to erect a statue of Bill Clinton in the Washington, DC Hall of Fame. However, we were in a quandary as to where the statue
should be placed. It did not seem proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's money.

Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised land." Nearly 5,000 years later, Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, light up a camel, this is the Promised Land."

Now, Bill Clinton's policy was to steal your shovel, tax your ass, raise the price of your camels, and mortgage the Promised Land. If you are one of the fortunate people who has anything left after paying taxes, we will expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.

Thank You,

The Monument Committee

PS: The committee has raised $1.35 so far