BREWSTER THE ROOSTER |
Whitey was in the egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Whitey kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Whitey's time. So Whitey decided to get a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a slightly different tone so Whitey could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. Whitey's favorite rooster was old Brewster, a very fine specimen he was, too. However, this particular morning Whitey noticed old Brewster's bell wasn't ringing, so Whitey went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To Whitey's amazement he found that Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and move on to the next one. Whitey was very proud of Brewster so he entered him in the county fair, and Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was that the judges not only awarded Brewster the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly Brewster was a Democrat. Who else could figure out how to win two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populous and screwing them before they realized what was going on! |