SOCIALISM:

You have two cows.  You keep one, but must give the other to your neighbor after you have registered both cows for their national \ health ID cards.

COMMUNISM:

You have two cows.  The government takes both and provides you with milk ... every other week except on Tuesdays.

FASCISM:

You have two cows.  The government takes both and forces you to buy the milk at gunpoint.  The government also burns any books the cows may have been reading.

BUREAUCRACY:

You have two cows.  The government takes them, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

DICTATORSHIP:

You have two cows.  The government takes both, and then shoots you.

CAPITALISM:

You have two cows.  You sell one and buy a bull.

DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.  The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your own government.

CORPORATION:

You have two cows.  You lay one off, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.

CALIFORNIA:

You have two cows.  The state tells you how to milk your cows, when to milk your cows and the most that you can charge for the milk.  You go broke and sell the cows at a loss.  The state calls you greedy and blames you for the current milk shortage.  The state also claims that all those "big-horned" cows in the state of Texas are trying to run up the price by withholding their milk.