Five men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Computer Tech and the fifth was a Civil Servant. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, "T-Square, do your stuff".

T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed that it was pretty incredible. 

But the Accountant said that his dog could do better. He called to his dog and commanded, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff". Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen biscuits. He divided them into four equal piles of three biscuits each. Everyone agreed that that was good. 

But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff". Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a litre of milk, got a pint glass from the cupboard and poured exactly a pint without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that it was more than a little impressive.

The Computer Tech knew that he could top them all. "Hard Drive, do it". Hard Drive crossed the room and booted up the computer, checked for viruses, upgraded the operating system, sent an e-mail and installed a cool new game. Everyone knew that it was a tough act to follow.

Then the four men turned to the Civil Servant and said, "What can your dog do?" The Civil Servant called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff boy". Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the biscuits, drank the milk, erased all of the files on the computer, sexually assaulted the other four dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers compensation and went home for a six month sick leave.