666.01 -Any person with a valid rodent or rattle snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

666.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is, however, prohibited.

666.03 -The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.

666.04 -It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

666.05 -It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

666.06 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 meters of BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.

666.07 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 meters of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or hospitals.

666.08 -If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

666.09 -It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax accountant for the purpose of  hunting attorneys.

666.10 -Bag Limits Per Day:

Yellow-bellied Sidewinders: 2
Two-faced Tort-feasors: 1
Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators: 3
Horn-rimmed Cut-throats: 2
Minutiae-advocating Chickens: 4
Honest Attorneys: 0 (Protected, Endangered species.)

Author: LAWrence Becraft