Today's Feature Article • Saturday, August 25, 2001
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How To Save 100% On Your Income Tax

The following thoroughly proven (that is, I meant to say) entirely hypothetical tax savings scenario should be considered completely factual (that is, I meant to say) completely fictional in that the protagonist, Ima Freeman, may (or may not be) an actual author who Informs America (or anyone else, living or dead) and is therefore offered here for its educational value (that is, I meant to say) entertainment value only. You understand.

Certainly the established fact that hundreds of thousands (perhaps millions!) of other Americans have safely followed these EXACT SAME PROCEDURES FOR YEARS should not overly influence the Reader into adopting the exact same (that is, I meant to say) an inadvertently similar course of personally empowering, financially-liberating action. Not one bit.

Certainly each Reader must decide for himself whether or not to stop paying (that is, I meant to say) to continue paying tribute and thereby enable, with his own labor, the economic melding of the once freest nation in the history of the world into a one-world Marxist Hell (that is, I meant to say) a utopian, globalist paradise for his grandchildren to live in. One that Ted Kennedy and Michael Gorbachev would be proud of. Absolutely.

And should legal counsel be necessary or advisable before making such an obvious (that is, I meant to say) anguished decision, the Reader should definitely consult with a competent, licensed tax or financial professional, assuming of course that one can be found (that is, I meant to say) that an agreeable fee basis can be agreed upon. Definitely. 

Alanon has its "10 Step Plan" for recovering alcoholics who attempt to remain sober -- one day at a time. Here for your enjoyment I present the well-established (that is, I meant to say) thoroughly imaginary "24 Step Plan" for recovering donate-a-holics who are attempting to remain nontaxpayers -- one day at a time -- (that is, I meant to say) to pay their "fair share": 

Introducing our hero: Ima Freeman ...

(01) ... is an educable individual who truly loves America and the principles upon which our nation was founded;

(02) ... resolves that enough taxes have been donated for a lifetime. A collective inhalation is heard from politicians everywhere (could this be the "giant sucking sound" Mr. Perot spoke of?);

(03) ... decides to stop watching TV and start reading -- thereby slowly beginning to reverse all brainwashing. A collective whine emanates from the controlled media;

(04) ... discovers that the Law is written in plain English and easily comprehensible by anyone of average intelligence. Views the Save-A-Patriot Fellowship's 12-hour video lecture "Just The Facts" and learns the truth about lawful filing requirements pertaining to income and employment taxes. A pained look appears on the portraits of all past Supreme Court judges;

(05) ... vows to take a bold step and follow the Law as actually written. A collective tutting and clucking is quickly heard from well-meaning family and friends;

(06) ... decides not to one day defraud others by accepting Social Security, free cheese and other rotten fruits of Marxist wealth redistribution. A deep worry grows in the consciences of comfortable Christians, mentally conditioned to "submit to the higher authority" (what? ... to Dubya?);

(07) ... joins the Save-A-Patriot Fellowship. Suspicious incredulity is whispered amongst the townsfolk;

(08) ... executes the Affidavit of Revocation And Rescission in order to revoke the application for the SSN. A studied, professional frown appears on the brows of licensed (kept) tax advisors everywhere;

(09) ... closes all bank and brokerage accounts, pockets the funds and puts into practice the numerous advantages of living on a straight cash basis. Nonplussed bankers gasp and reach for their martinis;

(10) ... stops receiving mail and packages at a residence mailbox and begins taking additional small steps towards the enjoyment of bulletproof personal and financial privacy. Some neighbors begin to distance themselves, others erect tall fences;

(11) ... converts to non-covered worker contracting with American Contractor Services and starts taking home 100% of each paycheck (minus a small administrative fee). Former co-workers still being withheld from on W-4's gather around the cooler to gossip in jealous curiosity;

(12) ... joins "The Christian Brotherhood" -- an alternative to expensive commercial health and life insurance that provides for reimbursement of medical expenditures and "final expenses" by affordably apportioning the member's costs to a large nationwide membership. Former insurance agents reel in consternation.

(13) ... joins "Puget Sound Agricultural Society" -- an alternative to expensive commercial automobile insurance that provides for reimbursement of out-of-pocket costs for vehicle accidents by apportioning the member's costs to its membership nationwide. Deep looks of horror now crease the visages of insurance agents everywhere;

(14) ... becomes educated on asset protection planning at Private Arena and soon conveys all property into pure trust. A collective groan of frustration is heard from former lawyers;

(15) ... begins to enjoy the happy status of being 100% plunder proof and immune from opportunistic or predatory lawsuit, and continues to live in a nice home, to drive a nice car, to sail a nice sailboat, etc. -- all provided for Ima Freeman's exclusive use without owning anything. Lawyers everywhere now wince in pain;

(16) ... arranges to pass all worldly accumulations to children and other heirs 100% free of probate, shrinkage or inheritance tax. All lawyers now frantically pat their wallets, wondering how many others know about this;

(17) .... joins the "Life Without Debt" program and begins to employ other specific procedures to eliminate all debt as quickly as possible. Credit card companies begin to circle the wagons;

(18) ... establishes one or more Limited Liability Companies through which to invest privately and provide for retirement, and establishes pure trusts to provide for the financial well being of children who will retire at the age of, say, 50 as multi-millionaires. A shrill wail is heard from Ima's children, who want the money sooner;

(19) ... pauses to fax the IRS letter received 6 to 12 months after stopping filing to the assigned SAPF Case Worker for handling under power-of-attorney, then returns to finish an enjoyable game of golf. An astonished look is seen on the faces of golfing partners;

(20) ... forwards additional IRS love letters claiming that Ima Freeman owes astronomical amounts of taxes (actually, credit, as there is no real money in circulation), all of which extortionist demands are answered by Ima's case worker in order to: (1) address the fictitious claims; (2) exhaust Ima Freeman's due process administrative rights, and; (3) compile an evidentiary foundation of exculpatory evidence and protection against criminal charges. The local U.S. attorney is seen lowering his face into his hands;

(21) ... smiles, knowing that there is nothing which can be taken to satisfy the fraudulently assessed IRS claims, including property, funds or wages at risk in the hands of an employer, banker or other compliant third party. Smiles knowing that IRS claims will continue to sit on the books as "uncollectible" until the Sun balloons into a red gas giant. A deep redness is seen to creep over the face of Ima's assigned IRS agent;

(22) .. enjoys seeing the IRS agent's cheeks grow increasingly redder as American Contractor Services upholds Ima Freeman's rights by refusing an "IRS Notice Of Intent To Levy" on Ima's paychecks since the IRS paperwork lacks the required court order (Warrant Of Distraint); 

(23) ... spends increasing numbers of free hours daily educating and assisting other newly awakened individuals, each of whom will likewise inform 10 others as exponentially increasing numbers of newly freed taxpayers -- all yearning to be learning -- tell still others, causing the New World Order gravy train to grind to a halt and Liberty to bust out all over!

(24) Name changed to protect the innocent. Tax-consuming oligarchs everywhere, have a nice day.